Dale Shaw

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Painfully British Haikus

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'Will make everybody laugh' DOLLY ALDERTON ON THE HIGH LOW 
 
Enjoy this hilarious collection of over 200 haikus that sum up the complex, confusing and often compounding character of the British people. 
 
The Sellotape end 
Unlocatable it seems 
Christmas is cancelled 
 
How many gin tins 
Is decreed appropriate 
For this train journey? 
 
The sound of a splash 
My Hobnob falls to pieces 
My tea is sullied 
 
Every houseplant 
Suffers a slow painful death 
I am a monster 
 
You're at the seaside 
A seagull eyes your Magnum 
You won't win that fight

A collection of haikus that each sum up the complex, confusing and frequently confounding character of the British. 
 
In a time of political turbulence and societal rancour, the idea of Britishness and national identity is being widely discussed. What does it mean to be British? 
 
Very British Haikus, makes light of what it means to be British in a refreshing and funny way using the classical, elegant five, seven, five syllable poetic structure to celebrate everything idiosyncratic that defines what it means to be British. All of the minutiae of British life is portrayed in Haiku form: parking, queuing, tea, chips, violently repressed emotion, pets, gardening and anger. 
 
Divided into categories concerning work, leisure, travel, family, food, pets and relationships - the entire British psyche will be devilishly skewed. 
 
With a nod to the hilarious Very British Problems and the bestselling What I Lick Before Your Face and Other Haikus By Dogs, Very British Haikus attempts to get under the skin of those citizens of Blighty and reveals what makes them tick.

Painfully British Haikus

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Dale Shaw

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