Leave the hordes behind, pack some sandwiches and head off for a grand day out. Whether it's the National Fruit Collection or the pub where time stood still, Britain is stuffed full of surprising and idiosyncratic local attractions.

The authors of Bollocks to Alton Towers, the bestselling celebration of the plucky underdogs of tourism, have ventured even farther off the beaten track and into the corners that corporate branding forgot, to bring you more unique, glorious and uncomonly British days out. Here you'll discover:

The garden centre with a replica of Del Boy's living room

The joys of a Melton Mowbray pork pie pilgramage

The rude charms of the Boscastle Witchcraft Museum

The Clowns' Gallery that paints a smile on Hackney's face

This book is a reminder of all the odd things that make the British what we are. A hidden, eccentric and joyous world of teas, fans, trains, shoes and puppets is waiting for you out there - far from the sodding crowd.