Stories from the Diplomatic Bag

The Spanish Ambassador's Suitcase

The Spanish Ambassador's Suitcase is a hilarious new collection of diplomatic tales by Matthew Parris and Andrew Bryson 
 
Heard the one about the Spanish Ambassador who arrived in the scorching Saharan desert fully suited and with a mysteriously enormous suitcase? Or the horse they gave Prime Minister John Major in Turkmenistan - which hapless embassy officials had to rescue from the clutches of the Moscow railway? These and other 'funnies', as they are known in Whitehall, are included in Matthew Parris and and Andrew Bryson's glorious new volume of not so diplomatic writing, which accompanies a new BBC Radio 4 series is a follow up to their acclaimed collection of ambassadors' final despatches, Parting Shots. 
 
Drawn from Freedom of Information requests and previously overlooked Valedictories these startling despatches throw a revealing light on how the British have viewed the world - and, unwittingly perhaps, on how the world has viewed the British. 
 
Praise for Parting Shots: 
 
'Parting Shots is unbuttoned, indiscreet and very funny' Yorkshire Post 
 
'Fascinating, if sometimes uncomfortable, reading' Financial Times 
 
'Very funny' Guardian 
 
After working in the Foreign Office then serving as a Conservative MP, Matthew Parris joined The Times in 1988. He writes two weekly columns for The Times and one for the Spectator, and in 2011 won the Best Columnist Award at the British Press awards. His acclaimed autobiography Chance Witness was published by Penguin in 2003. He is a frequent broadcaster. 
 
Andrew Bryson is a radio journalist working in the BBC's Business and Economic Unit. He frequently works as a producer on Radio 4's Today programme and on Radio 5 Live.

After working in the Foreign Office then serving as a Conservative MP, Matthew Parris joined The Times in 1988. He writes two weekly columns for The Times and one for the Spectator, and in 2011 won the Best Columnist Award at the British Press awards. His acclaimed autobiography Chance Witness was published by Penguin in 2003. He is a frequent broadcaster. 
 
Andrew Bryson is a radio journalist working in the BBC's Business and Economic Unit. He frequently works as a producer on Radio 4's Today programme and on Radio 5 Live. 
 
Their first volume of diplomats' despatches, Parting Shots, is published by Penguin.

'We have been, and should remain, in bed with the French. There are only two things you can conveniently do in bed. We have tried sleeping and it is time for the other...' HM Resident Commissioner, New Hebrides, 1974 
 
Following their acclaimed Parting Shots, Matthew Parris and Andrew Bryson bring together further sharp-eyed, thoughtful and often hilarious despatches from British Ambassadors abroad. Packed with curious and revealing stories (some once thought to be urban myths), including the horse given by the Turkmenistan authorities to John Major which had to be rescued from a Moscow railway and the Spanish Ambassador's odd behaviour in the Algerian desert, this book also contains fascinating glimpses and insights into diplomatic - and undiplomatic affairs. Showing our representatives abroad at their best and sometimes worst - whether rude or sympathetic, clever or confused - it shines a light on how we British have seen the world ... and how the world has too often seen us.

A Castle in Spain

Matthew Parris's A Castle in Spain is one man's attempt to transform a magnificent forgotten ruin into his own castle. 
 
Walking in the Pyrenees one spring morning Matthew Parris stumbled upon a magnificent ruined mansion standing on the edge of a line of huge cliffs. Later he was to discover that parts of the house dated back to the 14th century though it had not been completed until 1559; and that it had survived two massive earthquakes before falling into disrepair in the early 1960s. 
 
A few years later, seduced by 'one of those foolish challenges that grip us in middle life', Parris bought the house, L'Avenc, and set about restoring it to its full glory. This delightful book chronicles it all: the original discovery, the attempts to discover its history, and then the long effortful years trying to bring it back to life in the face of scepticism from family, friends and Spanish neighbours. The original edition of A Castle in Spain was published in 2005 when the renovations were a work in progress; this new edition triumphantly records all that has happened since. 
 
'Stands apart... This Englishman's castle might have started as a dream, but it has ended up being an extraordinary reality' Sunday Times 
 
'So infectious is his enthusiasm for L'Avenc and the dramatic, unvisited landscape of Collsacabra, that I wanted to leave at once to explore it ... And it's all just a few miles away from the Costa Brava!' Christopher Hudson, Daily Mail 
 
Matthew Parris had a short career in the Foreign Office where one of his tasks was to distribute incoming valedictory despatches. He was a Conservative MP from 1979 to 1986, since when he has worked as a journalist. He is the author of A Castle in Spain, Parting Shots, and A Spanish Ambassador's Suitcase. He divides his time between Derbyshire (where his old constituency was situated) and east London.

So infectious is his enthusiasm for L'Avenc and the dramatic, unvisited landscape of Collsacabra, that I wanted to leave at once to explore it ... And it's all just a few miles away from the Costa Brava!

Stands apart... This Englishman's castle might have started as a dream, but it has ended up being an extraordinary reality

After Cambridge Matthew Parris worked for the Foreign Office before becoming a Conservative MP in 1979. He resigned seven years later, after which he was the parliamentary sketchwriter for The Times for thirteen years. He is now a columnist for The Times and the Spectator, and is also a frequent broadcaster. His highly acclaimed autobiography was published by Viking in 2002, and his most recent book Parting Shots, a collection of diplomats' final despatches, is now available as a Penguin paperback. He divides his time between a flat in London, a house in his former Derbyshire constituency, and the house in Spain which is the subject of this book.

'Stands apart... This Englishman's castle might have started as a dream, but it has ended up being an extraordinary reality' Sunday Times 
 
Walking in the Pyrenees one spring morning Matthew Parris stumbled upon a magnificent ruined mansion standing on the edge of a line of huge cliffs. Later he was to discover that parts of the house dated back to the 14th century though it had not been completed until 1559; and that it had survived two massive earthquakes before falling into disrepair in the early 1960s. 
A few years later, seduced by 'one of those foolish challenges that grip us in middle life', Parris bought the house, L'Avenc, and set about restoring it to its full glory. This delightful book chronicles it all: the original discovery, the attempts to discover its history, and then the long effortful years trying to bring it back to life in the face of scepticism from family, friends and Spanish neighbours. The original edition of A Castle in Spain was published in 2005 when the renovations were a work in progress; this new edition triumphantly records all that has happened since.

Parting Shots

Matthew Parris's Parting Shots is a treasure trove of wit, venom and serious analysis. 
 
Up till 2006 a British Ambassador leaving his post was encouraged to write what was known as a valedictory despatch, to be circulated to a small number of influential people in government. This was the parting shot, an opportunity to offer a personal and frank view of the host country, the manners and morals of its people, their institutions, the state of their cooking and their drains. But it was also a chance to let rip at the Foreign Office itself and to look back on a career spent in the service of a sometimes ungrateful nation. 
 
Combining gems from the archives with more recent despatches obtained through the Freedom of Information Act, Parting Shots sheds light on Britain's place in the world, revealing the curious cocktail of privilege and privation that makes up the life of an ambassador. 
 
'Wonderful ... a glimpse of that lost world of private eloquence and erudite candour' Matthew d'Ancona, Evening Standard 
 
'Unbuttoned, indiscreet and very funny' Yorkshire Post 
 
Matthew Parris had a short career in the Foreign Office where one of his tasks was to distribute incoming valedictory despatches. He was a Conservative MP from 1979 to 1986, since when he has worked as a journalist. He is the author of A Castle in Spain, Parting Shots, and A Spanish Ambassador's Suitcase. He divides his time between Derbyshire (where his old constituency was situated) and east London.

Matthew Parris had a short career in the Foreign Office where one of his tasks was to distribute incoming valedictory despatches. He was a Conservative MP from 1979 to 1986, since when he has worked as a journalist. He won the Orwell Prize for Journalism, and his acclaimed autobiography Chance Witness was published by Penguin in 2002. He divides his time between Derbyshire (where his old constituency was situated) and east London. 
Andrew Bryson is a radio journalist working in the BBC's Business and Economics Unit. He lives in Surrey.

Up till 2006 a British Ambassador leaving his post was encouraged to write what was known as a valedictory despatch, to be circulated to a small number of influential people in government. This was the parting shot, an opportunity to offer a personal and frank view of the host country, the manners and morals of its people, their institutions, the state of their cooking and their drains. But it was also a chance to let rip at the Foreign Office itself and to look back on a career spent in the service of a sometimes ungrateful nation. 
Combining gems from the archives with more recent despatches obtained through the Freedom of Information Act, Parting Shots is a treasure trove of wit, venom and serious analysis. Astute and often gloriously non-politically, they shed light on Britain's place in the world, and reveal the curious cocktail of privilege and privation which make up the life of an ambassador.

Matthew Parris was born in Africa in 1949 and grew up in Cyprus, Rhodesia, Jamaica and Britain. He worked for the Foreign Office and Margaret Thatcher before becoming an MP in 1979. After seven years as a Conservative MP, he quit to present LWT's Weekend World, after which he became the regular parliamentary sketchwriter for The Times for 13 years. His books include his autobiography Chance Witness, Read My Lips, Scorn with Added Vitriol, and Inca-Kola, about his travels in Peru. He has also made a number of television documentaries. He is a regular travel writer, reviewer, broadcaster and columnist and divides his time between London, Derbyshire and Spain.

The downloadable abridged audiobook edition of Matthew Paris' charming tale, A Castle in Spain, read by the author himself. 
 
Walking in the Pyrenees, twenty years ago, Matthew Parris and his sister came upon a magnificent medieval house. It had crests and a date - 1559 - chiselled into the stone: its walls and foundations were intact but the ancient oak ridge timber supporting the roof had split and was ready to collapse into the rotten floors beneath. Renovation would be an epic undertaking - a massive investment of time, money and emotion. And, the locals warned, nobody ever left L'Avenc with any money. A few years ago, Matthew (with his family's help) went back and bought the place. Astonishing and arguably idiotic, his decision resulted in a phenomenal amount of hard work, and this hugely enjoyable audiobook. Inspirational, instructional and utterly irresistible, this is the story of one man's dream to turn a forgotten ruin into his very own Castle in Spain.

Matthew Parris

An Outsider's Life in Politics

In this surprising and eccentric autobiography from a former Conservative MP, Matthew Parris writes of his personal and political life with equal candour. With a First from Cambridge and the possibility of working for the Foreign Office, he decided instead to apply to be an apprentice diesel-fitter with London Transport. He was rejected and so turned to a life in politics. He has worked with Margaret Thatcher, Chris Patten, Tony Blair and Michael Portillo, and his observations of political lifeand those who move within it are truly fascinating. This colourful memoir is an account of a young life already well lived.

Matthew Parris

Chance Witness

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