My Horizontal Life

A raucous and hilarious memoir of one woman's one-night stands, as told by cult US comedienne and extrovert, Chelsea Handler. Raunchy, acid and laugh-out-loud funny throughout...

If the name Chelsea Handler doesn't mean anything just yet, it will shortly. The girl's going to be huge... Has to be the funniest and most candid book about shagging ever written by a woman

A rib-tickling affair that will leave you doubled up in no time... Do we love her tales!

Chelsea Handler is my new best friend - she writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds. I laughed out loud and read parts to my husband, my best friend, and my Mom (which might have been a mistake). This book is no-holds-barred hilarious

In a word: hilarious. In two: absolutely hilarious. These are some of the funniest stories I have ever read... Chelsea Handler has perfect pitch

Enjoyably naughty sexual memoir of a New York-Jewish stand-up comedienne

Hilarious... Frank, funny, and will have you laughing out loud

Handler is the leading light of Slapper Lit... We learn about Handler's past conquests: the stripper with romantic pretensions; the midget who proves more useful as a pillow; the under-endowed teetotaller; the closet gynaecologist. Handler works her way through the lot with gleeful abandon...the gorgeous blonde who has single handedly out-raunched Raunch Culture

Chelsea Handler was born in Livingston, New Jersey, and has toured the US doing stand-up as one of the stars on Oxygen's Girls Behaving Badly, as well as appearing on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. She lives in Los Angeles.

'Many people feel like a one-night stand is something to be ashamed or embarrassed of. I disagree...' 
 
We've all (well not quite all, perhaps) had at least one: a one-night stand. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night-stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. 
 
Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men... Lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles Chelsea's romps through the bedrooms of a host of potential suitors, uncovering what can happen in one night of passion between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated woman. 
 
From her short fling with a Vegas stripper named Thunder to her even shorter fling with a very short man, she recalls her myriad one-night stands with hilarious honesty. My Horizontal Life is a sensationally frank and funny memoir of sexual life, and a gloriously quirky take on why we do the things we do. Whether you have been there yourself or not, its one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning...

Chelsea Handler

A hilarious account ... you may not want to read it in public, for fear of snorting with laughter.

If I had the balls to really not care what people thought of me, this is the book I'd write.

Ms. Handler's style is a friendlier, more workaday version of the haughty self-abasement practiced by Sarah Silverman, leavened by the everywoman spirit of Kathy Griffin... She seems like a cruel queen bee from an expensive college: There's something suspiciously sophisticated about how her jokes line up that suggests the moral austerity of a comic not of [Joan] Rivers's bad-girl school: Tina Fey

Chelsea Handler is a woman on a mission. She's smart, sassy and not afraid to speak her mind. From an early age Chelsea knew exactly what she wanted and even in the trickiest of situations, she's never one to pass up an opportunity. Like the time she convinced her third-grade class she was shooting movies with Goldie Hawn on location in the Galapagos just to get them to 
like her, or when she spent the night in a women's prison, contemplating an affair with the inmate who killed her own sister. Chelsea it seems, has done it all, and a whole lot more ... 
 
Any mishaps along the way just spur Chelsea on further. Whether she is being dry-humped by a sumo masseur, dumped by her Big Red experiment or kicked out of a London restaurant with her pants down, Chelsea is always armed with an unshakeable disregard for rules and is incapable of leading a quiet life. 
 
Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea is an entertaining memoir-in-stories that will have you rolling around with laughter.

Chelsea Handler

Praise for Are you there Vodka? It's me, Chelsea

A hilarious account ... you may not want to read it in public, for fear of snorting with laughter.

If I had the balls to really not care what people thought of me, this is the book I'd write.

Ms. Handler's style is a friendlier, more workaday version of the haughty self-abasement practiced by Sarah Silverman, leavened by the everywoman spirit of Kathy Griffin... She seems like a cruel queen bee from an e ...

A hilarious account ... you may not want to read it in public, for fear of snorting with laughter.

If I had the balls to really not care what people thought of me, this is the book I'd write.

Ms. Handler's style is a friendlier, more workaday version of the haughty self-abasement practiced by Sarah Silverman, leavened by the everywoman spirit of Kathy Griffin... She seems like a cruel queen bee from an e ...

A hilarious account ... you may not want to read it in public, for fear of snorting with laughter.

If I had the balls to really not care what people thought of me, this is the book I'd write.

Ms. Handler's style is a friendlier, more workaday version of the haughty self-abasement practiced by Sarah Silverman, leavened by the everywoman spirit of Kathy Griffin... She seems like a cruel queen bee from an e ...

Books by Chelsea Handler

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