Mortdecai

Art dealer and assassin Charlie Mortdecai has got himself married - it wasn't his choice exactly, a little pressure was exerted by certain secret government organizations who wanted to keep the lady in check, but it's not an entirely unenjoyable experience: she brings a lot of assets with her. Until, that is, he discovers she has some surprising interests and she wants to get him involved. Which is why he's trying hard to get himself imprisoned, safely away from the pursuing Chinese gangs...

Inspired by a shotgun-blast in the seat of his breeches, young Karli Van Cleer quits his native Holland to seek his fortune. ALL THE TEA IN CHINA follows his perilous journey across the globe, as Karli is confronted by mountainous seas, high-piled plates of curry and the ferocious penalties of the Articles of War. En route he acquires some interesting diseases, a fortune, and a wife almost as good as new. And changes his name to Mortdecai. Addicts and newcomers alike will revel in this lusty tale of an ancestor of Charlie Mortdecai who helped make Britain great - for a price.

Portly art dealer and seasoned epicurean Charlie Mortdecai comes into possesion of a stolen Goya, the disappearance of which is causing a diplomatic ruction between Spain and its allies. Not that that matters to Charlie ... until compromising pictures of some British diplomats also come into his possession and start to muddy the waters. All he's trying to do is make a dishonest living, but various governments, secret organizations and an unbelievably nubile young German don't see it that way and pretty soon he's in great need of his thuggish manservant Jock to keep them all at bay ... and the Goya safe.

Kyril Bonfiglioli's final novel follows the Hon. Charlie Mortdecai from adventure to misadventure via Jersey and Moscow to a final showdown in a Buckinghamshire bungalow of unparalleled hideousness. Tackling en route an unhealthy sprinkling of well-seasoned academics, a cryptic monk, an aristocratic Chief Constable, and more spies than you could shoehorn into a black stretch limo, Mordecai finds himself embroiled in another mission of international insecurity after the death of a lady don in Oxford. Left unfinished at the time of the author's death, the celebrated satirist and parodist Craig Brown supplies the penultimate, plot-resolving chapter.

Art dealer and assassin Charlie Mortdecai has fled to Jersey, taking his thug Jock along with him, just in case. For now though he's had enough of secret government agencies, of stolen paintings, of terrifying Chinese gangs, and he's getting on surprisingly well with his nubile young wife. But there's no peace for the wicked - and Charlie can sometimes be very wicked indeed. When it seems there's a sexual pervert at loose on the island targeting nice middle-class ladies, Charlie takes it upon himself to find the deviant. Which is how he finds himself in the dead of night up against a tree, his ear nailed to the trunk...