Mummy Fairy and Me: Unicorn Wishes by Sophie Kinsella

Meet Mummy Fairy and me

Hello. I’m called Ella Brook and I live in a town called Cherrywood with my mummy, my daddy and my baby brother, Ollie.

My mummy looks normal, just like any other mummy . . . but she’s not. Because she can turn into a fairy. All she has to do is stamp her feet three times, clap her hands, wiggle her bottom and say, ‘Marshmallow’... and POOF! she’s Mummy Fairy. Then if she says, ‘Toffee apple,’ she’s just Mummy again.

My Aunty Jo and Granny are fairies too, because all the girls in my family turn into fairies when they grow up. They can all fly and turn invisible and do real magic. Mummy and Aunty Jo also have a really cool wand called a Computawand V5. It has magic powers, a computer screen, Fairy Apps, Fairy Mail and Fairy Games!

The problem is that Mummy is still not very good at doing magic spells, even though she works really hard at her lessons on FairyTube with her Fairy Tutor, Fairy Fenella. But one day she’s going to get everything right.

When I’m grown up, I’ll be a fairy like her too! Mummy calls me her Fairy-in-Waiting. I’ll have big sparkly wings and my own beautiful shiny crown, and I’ll be able to do magic just like Mummy. I already know what my first spell will be. I’ll wish for a unicorn of my very own. Although I can’t do spells just yet, I can play with my magic wardrobe. You’ll meet Wardrobe later.

Being a Fairy-in-Waiting is a big secret. I’m not allowed to tell anyone, not even my best friends, Tom and Lenka. And I definitely can’t tell my Not-Best Friend, Zoe. She is the meanest girl ever and she lives next door. Sometimes I think she might find out about Mummy being a fairy.

But she hasn’t yet. And life in a fairy family is fun! Even when there’s a hitch or a glitch...

UPERIDOO! The day we flew to school

It was time for school and we were going to be late. I knew this because Mummy was running around the house shouting, ‘Where’s my bag? Where’s my bag?’

‘I’ll find it,’ said Daddy. He looked under the table and in the fridge. ‘Not here. Where did you see it last?’

‘I don’t know!’ wailed Mummy. She threw all the sofa cushions on the floor, but her bag wasn’t on the sofa. It wasn’t in the microwave either.

I quickly looked in all the drawers. Ollie thought we were playing a game. He pointed at the ceiling and said, ‘Weezi-weezi-weezi!’

‘All right,’ said Mummy. ‘There’s nothing for it.’ She stamped her feet three times, clapped her hands, wiggled her bottom and said, ‘Marshmallow’... and POOF! she was a fairy. Then she picked up her Computawand from the table. Most of the time it looks just like a normal phone, but as soon as she touches it, the screen starts to glow and it grows into a wand. Mummy says a wand needs a fairy’s touch to come alive.

Mummy Fairy waved her Computawand, pressed a code on the screen – bleep-bleep-bloop – and said, ‘Bageridoo!’

Nothing happened.

I looked at Daddy, and Daddy looked at me.

Mummy says when she was at school she was so busy doing sums and playing tennis and telling people what to do that she didn’t have time to practise her spells properly. Granny says if only she used an old-fashioned wand instead of that silly Computawand, then her spells would work much better.

‘I don’t think the spell worked,’ I said anxiously. ‘Shall we just keep looking for the bag?’

‘Well, it should have worked,’ said Mummy Fairy. She bashed her Computawand. ‘What’s wrong with this thing?’

‘Look,’ said Daddy, and he pointed through the open window. ‘What’s that?’

We all peered out. There was a sort of multicoloured cloud in the sky. It was getting bigger and bigger.

‘What is it?’ said Mummy Fairy.

‘It’s coming towards us,’ said Daddy.

‘It’s bags!’ I said. ‘It’s lots of bags! It looks like it’s going to rain bags.’

The cloud was right above us. It rustled and quivered. There was a tremble of thunder. Then...

There was a bang and the bags started raining down all over the house and garden. There were all sorts of bags. There were handbags, carrier bags and paper bags. There was a tartan shopping trolley and a unicorn rucksack and a pink bag with a big black buckle.

‘Ooh,’ said Mummy Fairy. ‘I like that one!’

I loved the unicorn rucksack best. It was all glittery.

Some of the bags landed in the garden, but some came down the chimney and some fluttered in through the window. One brown paper bag blew itself up with air, started dancing in the fruit bowl, did a waltz with a banana, then popped.

A beach bag landed on Daddy’s head and he said, ‘Get off!’

‘Oops,’ said Mummy Fairy. ‘I don’t know how that happened. I’m sure I said the right spell.’ She started bashing her Computawand again.

‘Is this your bag?’ asked Daddy. He was holding up a black handbag.

‘Oh, there it is!’ said Mummy Fairy. ‘Thank you! Where was it?’

‘On the door handle,’ said Daddy. ‘Where it always is. And isn’t it time for you to leave for school? Come on, Ollie. Let’s clear up the mess.’

‘Toffee apple!’ said Mummy Fairy.

And then she was just Mummy again.

*

I was getting worried because today was a special Be on Time Day. Everyone who came to school on time would get a sticker from our teacher, Miss Amy. The pupil who arrived first would get a special shiny sticker. I really, really wanted a shiny sticker. But it was already eight o’clock. School starts at half past eight, so we needed to get going.

‘Quick, Mummy!’ I said. ‘Quick!’

I ran out of the door, lugging my school bag. Next door, my Not-Best Friend Zoe and her mum were coming out of their house. Zoe usually leaves earlier than us because she does swimming or ice skating before school. She is a very busy girl.

I’ve known Zoe all my life, since we were both babies in prams. Her mum always says: ‘Ella and Zoe are best friends! They love each other!’

But she doesn’t know how mean Zoe is to me. She pinches me when no one’s looking. She says nasty things when Miss Amy isn’t around. And once she ripped my brand-new furry pencil case. On purpose.

‘Morning, Ella!’ said Zoe’s mum, and got into her car.

Zoe turned round so her mum couldn’t see her, then stuck out her tongue. ‘You’re going to be late!’ she said. ‘We’re going to beat you! Loser! Bye-ee!’

She laughed her horrible laugh, jumped in the car and slammed the door.

Their car started and roared off down the road.

‘Mummy!’ I yelled. ‘Come on!’

I really, really didn’t want Zoe to get the shiny sticker.

At last we got in our car and set off.

Mummy said, ‘Don’t worry, Ella – we’ll be there in no time! I’ll drive super fast.’

But as we turned the corner we saw a traffic jam. Not just a little traffic jam but a GREAT BIG traffic jam. There were cars and buses and even a big lorry, all squashed together in the road.

‘Oh dear,’ said Mummy. ‘I’m sure it will move soon.’

But it didn’t. We sat there and sat there and nothing moved. Some cars started to hoot their horns. Other cars turned round to go a different way – but we couldn’t go a different way. I was getting more and more worried.

‘Don’t worry,’ said Mummy. ‘I’m sure Miss Amy won’t mind if you’re late.’

‘But I can’t be late for school!’ I wailed. ‘I can’t! Today is Be on Time Day! If we get to school on time, we get a sticker!’

‘A sticker?’ said Mummy.

‘Yes, a sticker! And whoever arrives first gets a special shiny sticker. And Zoe will get there first, and she’ll get the shiny sticker and I won’t.’

‘A shiny sticker...’ Mummy thought for a moment. ‘Well, that’s different.’

She stamped her feet three times, clapped her hands, wiggled her bottom on the car seat and said, ‘Marshmallow’ .... and POOF! she was a fairy.

Her shimmery wings were all squashed up in the car. I couldn’t believe it. I said, ‘Mummy Fairy, someone will see you!’

‘No one’s looking,’ she said. ‘Now, let’s get out of this traffic jam.’

‘How are we going to do that?’ I asked.

‘We’re going to fly,’ she said.

‘Fly?’ My eyes went wide. I had never flown in a car before.

‘Of course! But first we need to be invisible.’

Mummy Fairy took her Computawand out of her bag. The screen started to glow and it grew into a wand. She pointed it at herself, me and the car, pressed a code on the screen – bleep-bleep-bloop – and said, ‘Inviseridoo!’

I felt a funny kind of tingling. ‘Are we both invisible now?’ I looked around. ‘Is the car invisible too?’

‘Yes.’ Mummy looked pleased. ‘The spell worked perfectly. Right, I just need to do the flying spell –’

Mummy and I gasped. The huge lorry behind had bumped into us. The driver looked very confused, because he couldn’t see our car.

The man was still trying to move forward – but he kept bashing us.

‘Mummy Fairy!’ I cried. ‘We can’t be invisible in a traffic jam! It’s dangerous! That lorry is going to crush us.’

‘Ah,’ said Mummy Fairy. ‘Yes, good point, Ella. Let’s go.’ She pressed a code on the Computawand screen – bleep-bleep-bloop – and said, ‘Uperidoo!’

The next moment the car whizzed straight up into the air. Then it did a big loop-the-loop like a rollercoaster.

‘This is amazing!’ I shouted. ‘This is so cool!’

‘Flyeridoo!’ shouted Mummy Fairy, and the car started flying along like a plane. I stared out of the window at the streets below, and all the cars and buses and lorries in the traffic jam. Everything looked so small. The cars were just like toy cars, the people like tiny dolls. Even my school looked like a toy school. There it was, ahead in the distance.

‘Have you ever flown a car before, Mummy Fairy?’ I asked.

‘No, but I’ve flown a carpet,’ she said. ‘And a car is much easier.’ She looked very pleased with herself.

A flock of birds came near, and Mummy Fairy quickly flew the car even higher so we didn’t bump into them. I thought the birds looked surprised to see us. I waved and giggled.

‘Look!’ said Mummy Fairy, pointing out of the window. ‘We’re nearly at school. Wasn’t that quick! We’d better head down, but we mustn’t let anyone see us. I’ll try to land behind that tree.’ She pressed another code on her Computawand – bleep-bleep-bloop. ‘Downeridoo!’

But the car didn’t go down. It kept flying. It was flying and flying, away from our school, away from our town. Mummy Fairy started bashing her Computawand.

I stared out of the window. I couldn’t believe it. My school was disappearing into to the distance.

‘No, car!’ I said. ‘Go back! Back!’

‘Downeridoo!’ Mummy Fairy shouted. ‘Downeridoo! Down, car! DOWNERIDOO!’

The car suddenly started to go down, and landed in a field with a bump. Mummy Fairy and I looked at each other. Then we stared around. All we could see was grass and trees.

‘Oops,’ said Mummy Fairy. ‘I don’t know how that happened. Maybe flying a car isn’t so easy after all.’

‘Where are we?’

‘Let me see...’ Mummy Fairy looked at the sat-nav and bit her lip. ‘Oh dear, we’ve gone FAR too far.’

We got out of the car. There weren’t any roads or people or houses. All we could see was a single cow.

‘We’ll be really late for school.’ My voice trembled but I managed not to cry. ‘We’ll be late and I won’t get a shiny sticker and Zoe will laugh at me.’

‘Zoe will NOT laugh at you,’ said Mummy Fairy. She put her arms round me and gave me a big hug. She wasn’t easy to hug, with her wings still scrunched up from being in the car. ‘And we will NOT be late.’

‘But, Mummy Fairy,’ I said, ‘look at the car!’

The car was all crumpled up from landing in the field. It had a big dent in the back where the lorry had bashed it, and a wheel had fallen off.

‘Oh dear,’ said Mummy Fairy. ‘That’s not good. Daddy won’t be pleased.’

‘How will we get to school now?’ I asked. ‘What will we do?’

‘We will –’ Mummy Fairy stopped and thought.

‘What?’

‘We will –’

‘WHAT?’

‘We will walk,’ said Mummy Fairy. ‘With our magic legs.’

‘Magic legs?’ I said. ‘What are magic legs?’

‘They are legs that can walk extra fast. I’ll do another spell. I haven’t done it before, but it can’t be that difficult to make magic legs.’ Mummy Fairy waved her Computawand and pressed a code on the screen – bleep-bleep-bloop. ‘Legseridoo!’ she said.

At once I had a strange feeling in my legs. It was a wibbly-wobbly feeling. I looked down and gasped. ‘Mummy Fairy!’ I said. ‘My legs have turned to jelly!’

They were all red and shiny. I looked at Mummy Fairy, and she had jelly legs too, only hers were green.

I was wobbling everywhere, and so was Mummy Fairy. Wibble-wobble-wibble-wobble.

‘Oh no!’ said Mummy Fairy. ‘These are no good for walking!’ She looked crossly at her Computawand. ‘I really don’t understand what went wrong.’

Suddenly I heard a snorting sound. I looked round and saw something rushing towards us. That something was the cow we had seen earlier. Only it wasn’t a cow at all. It was a bull, with two sharp horns on its head. It was big and brown and it looked angry.

When an angry bull is charging towards you, you really, really don’t want jelly legs.

‘Mummy Fairy!’ I yelled. ‘Watch out! We’ve got jelly legs and a bull is coming!’

‘He can see us!’ Mummy Fairy gasped. ‘The Inviseridoo spell has worn off!’ She waved her Computawand and pressed a code – bleep-bleep-bloop. ‘Inviseridoo!’ she shouted. ‘Quick!’

Now we were invisible again, but the bull was still charging towards us and we still had jelly legs.

‘Yikes!’ said Mummy Fairy. ‘It can’t see us but it must be able to smell us.’ She jabbed her Computawand. ‘Legseridoo!’

‘Help!’ I cried. ‘It’s getting close! Help! Do another spell, Mummy Fairy.’

‘Maybe this one is better.’ Mummy Fairy pressed a code on the screen – bleep-bleep-bloop – and shouted, ‘Come on, you stupid wand! Come on... Rocketeridoo!’

And... Our legs weren’t jelly any more. Now we had rocket blasters on our backs.

Just as the bull reached us, we shot high up into the air. Mummy Fairy grabbed my hand and I screamed: ‘Aargh!’

We did a loop-the-loop, round and round, and I shouted, ‘Wheeee!’ and Mummy Fairy laughed. It was very cold and very exciting and quite scary, all at once.

‘You’re a superhero!’ said Mummy Fairy. ‘You’re Super-Ella!’

‘And you’re Super-Mummy-Fairy!’

I laughed.

‘And look – we’re here!’ said Mummy Fairy.

She pointed down, and I gasped. We had whooshed so fast that we were nearly at my school.

And then I spotted something else.

‘Look, Mummy Fairy! There’s the traffic jam we were stuck in before. And that’s what was causing it!’

Just round the corner from school a tree had fallen across the road. Some people were trying to move it, but it was very heavy.

‘Wait a moment,’ said Mummy Fairy. ‘I can fix this.’

‘But, Mummy Fairy, we’re going to be late,’ I said. I didn’t want her to forget about my shiny sticker. We dived down towards the tree and hovered in the air. I could tell that Mummy Fairy was thinking. Then she pressed a code on her Computawand screen – bleep-bleep-bloop. She waved it in a circle and shouted, ‘Whirleridoo!’

A whirlwind started to blow, round and round. It lifted the tree right up into the air.

‘Ooh!’ cried all the people watching. The tree rose higher and higher, then came safely down to rest in a nearby garden.

At once the traffic started moving again. All the people on the pavement cheered. One man cried, ‘It’s a miracle!’

Mummy Fairy looked pleased with herself. She patted her Computawand. ‘Maybe I should be a traffic warden,’ she said.

‘Maybe,’ I said, although I didn’t mean it. Mummy should not be a traffic warden.

Together, Mummy Fairy and I floated down into the school playground. I was glad to have normal legs again. We both had sticky-uppy hair from whooshing around in the sky, but luckily Mummy Fairy had a hairbrush in her bag.

‘All right,’ she said. ‘Let’s go and get that sticker.’ She waved her wand, pressed a code – bleep-bleep-bloop – and said, ‘Stoperidoo!’

At once, we weren’t invisible any more. We didn’t have rocket blasters any more. Then Mummy Fairy said, ‘Toffee apple’... and she wasn’t Mummy Fairy any more. She was just Mummy.

Together, we walked into school and up to my classroom. None of my classmates had arrived yet. My teacher, Miss Amy, looked up and gave me a big smile.

‘Hello, Ella,’ she said. ‘You’re the first to arrive today! You get the special shiny sticker!’

She gave me a sticker with pink sparkles, and I stuck it on my sweatshirt. I felt so, so happy.

‘Everyone else has been stuck in a terrible traffic jam!’ said Miss Amy. ‘Didn’t you get stuck too?’

Mummy looked at me, and I looked at Mummy.

‘We did get stuck,’ said Mummy. ‘But then we managed to get out. We were lucky.’ She winked at me. ‘I’d better tell Daddy that he needs to take the car to the garage. It’s always breaking down in the wrong place.’

Mummy kissed me and went off to work. I sat down at my desk and started doing some colouring. Then Zoe came dashing into the classroom. Her cheeks were pink and she ran in so fast she didn’t see me.

‘I’m first!’ she said. ‘Everyone else is stuck in traffic, but we left the car and ran all the way! I’m first! I’m first, Miss Amy! I’m going to get the special shiny sticker!’

‘Actually,’ said Miss Amy, ‘Ella was first.’

Zoe went all quiet. She turned round and saw me. Her cheeks grew pinker. She looked at my sticker and her eyes went very big – then small and mean.

‘How did you get here?’ she said. And I knew she was really, really cross.

‘We went a different way,’ I said.

‘There isn’t a different way!’ shouted Zoe. ‘There isn’t! There’s just one way. And it had a traffic jam!’

‘There must be,’ said Miss Amy. ‘Because look – Ella’s here. Now sit down, Zoe, and please stop shouting.’

Zoe sat down, but she still looked grumpy. She banged her bag down on the table.

I didn’t say anything else. I just carried on colouring. I thought about Mummy Fairy and the flying car. I thought about being invisible and the jelly legs and the bull and the rocket blasters. I thought about me and Mummy Fairy saving everyone from the traffic jam, and what Daddy would say when he saw the car. I drew it all in my book. And I stroked my special shiny sticker and smiled.